My Blog

Hehehe… yup it’s been months since my last post. To prove my point that my diary writing skills kinda suck. Well a lot things happen of course, especially since I’m in Singapore now. And yeah, I erased my last post in here by mistake, when I tried to edit it. Oh well no biggie anyway. Anywhoo… I thought I’m trying out my luck by using Blogger instead. For some reason Friendster sometimes went caput on me, and that’s a part of the reason of why I didn’t post more often. (excuses excuses )

Just in case you would like to have a good laugh here and there here is my new address…

http://annedjie.blogspot.com/

Mind you, I’m still in the middle of writing my new blog. So perdone moi if you don’t see any post yet… It should be soon tho, hehehehe (cross my finger)

How do you treat a friend?

Do you ever feel that you always say the wrong thing? Especially to the person that you’re trying to impress? The harder you tried the worse thing will come out from your mouth? If you don’t, then lucky you, because I seemed to have that illness. And of course this thing often happen to me when I like someone. Not just for a ‘crush’ on a guy but also to other girls who I think are cool. Isn’t that just stupid? But then again I feel as though I have this unsyncronicity with my brain. My brain wants me to say something smart and nice and it comes out differently. Aargh…

OK after going around in circles… How do you treat a friend? Do you treat them nice because you want them to benefit you? Or because you want to be nice… just because? I prayed many many times that I can be a blessing, in any little way I can. But the result so far… far from it, I felt that I was not contributing to the relationships. Am I trying too hard or not at all? I noticed that a lot of people can be nice naturally, and some are nice because they want to or they have to, because of some conviction or other things. And then there are people who are nice because they want something out of the relationship. By my saying this, I’m also pointing fingers at myself, trying to see that I’m not that perfect and I have to evaluate myself everyday. And sometimes I realize how judgmental I am to other people. Sometimes by thinking that other people are being judgmental, I’m being one myself.

Can you love somebody and not expecting anything in return? Is that thing even possible? Especially when that person does not even know that you’re doing this to him or her? I’ve been surrounded with too much hypocrisy lately, that I feel as though it’s saturated me as well. On the other hand, luckily my mom sometimes told me that I’m still that naive young girl with my heads on the clouds and always think that poems and love songs are real. Chivalry isn’t dead. Santa Claus does exist. What a wonderful world indeed.
While we’re on the topic of pretty words. I found this awhile ago…
“Love me when I deserve it the least… because that is when I will need it the most.” (Anonimo)
And just like that FOREST GUMP movie, I found this writings on a chocolate wrapping. Saying is so much easier than doing, don’t you think?

In closing…
To whoever you are,
I wish you love…

You don’t know Portland, if you’re complaining about the dark clouds in summer day. As I told Lynne once, Oregon is a land of uncertain sunshine, hehehe… But as much as I don’t like too much rain, I like the results of it. Lots of trees and beautiful wild sceneries in Oregon. It’s very calming. Once my grandma told me as we drove to our trip to Lincoln City, "Do you notice those nice tall trees? They are straight up facing the sky. It’s like many hands facing the heaven to thank the Lord for each and every day. Just as we should do everyday." Just because of that simple comments made by my grandma, I felt as though I had some kind of epiphany or something. I never looked at a douglas fir the same way. It’s a reminder. Sometimes, I’m amazed at the things I remembered. When was that I wonder… Hehehe… oh well.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately (we’re talking about ‘years’ lately, not just ‘week’ or ‘days’ lately, hehehe…) I sorta became this loner. I just like to observe more instead of involve more. I’m feeling bad for my friends who are still trying to pull me out of my hiding place. I have this symptom that I feel that I’ve been judged sometimes. I should think less serious about myself, I guess or just open my psychology book, hehehe. It’s just so funny that to think that I supposedly evangelizing, and these people ended up looking for me instead I’m looking for them. I have to call them soon. I have to hang out with them soon… Ah the burden to have this artist’s mind But most of all, I feel blessed that I have friends and that in every little things, I find something to laugh about.

Before my daily contributions in chatting department yada yada yada… Just thought I’m going to go deep for a moment… These are my few more moments staying in The US of A. Although I’m very excited for my new change of location, I’m saddened by the thought of leaving my home sweet home… But let’s not go there on my first post. I thought as I’ve been repeating myself to my friends, that I’m going to a new adventure, opening a new chapter in my life (I feel like Z100 DJ, the same song every hour) I should mark it somewhere. Might as well be Friendster Blog. Too lazy to write long hand on a diary… Maybe because there’s no ‘love interest’ yet, hehehe… I usually very active in writing crushes on my journal. Darn my crushes! Enuf for the deep stuff…

So this is it. Another attempt from me to even write some sort of diary, let’s see how long will this one lasts, hehehe… Nothin’ much happenin’ today. I just got back from Tanasbourne Mall with my cousin Jennifer and we had a good time being girly girls and trying out stuff. I’m still kinda bothered with the thought of only carrying 2 suitcases to move to a new place. Ummm… If it’s only to a different city, I can handle that… I’m moving thousands of miles away and I was only allowed 2 suitcases? And yet I got another cute shirt today. Hmmm…